Better Me
Nowadays, modern society is filled with many stereotypes that are created to teach people how to live their lives, what they should do, how they should behave, what is good for them and what can make them happy. However, these ideas do not relate to every single person; they are designed artificially and fob off on their decisions. The society has always dictated what is right and what a person should do if he/ she wants to be successful, rich or happy. People swallow these ideas without realizing that they do not correspond to reality and in real life the things are different. Mass media has the great impact on people’s consciousness. Today, the top problem is how to be happy, how to find happiness, and how can one get it and never let it go. People see situations when others have found their happiness in life and have been changed forever. Thus, if you could find your happiness in this life, you will be a winner and you will not be like others. People put all their efforts, trying to identify what is happiness and where it can be found. They search it everywhere and are ready to give anything to receive any useful information about it. They visit seminars that promise to teach how to be happy in this life or they go to trainings that share secret information, concerning happiness.
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In fact, many of these so-called teachers are bilkers, who have found a way to earn money on people’s desires. Ironically, but teaching others to search a path to happiness, they have found their own one, which is a path to becoming rich. If one will listen to all these advices, he/ she will probably think that he/ she needs to find something in life that will make him happy. However, it is better to listen to yourself, rather than to somebody else, if this happiness must be found or whether it is something inside of people. No doubts, everyone has bad days in their life, sometimes these periods may turn into durable depression, but every thing has its beginning and its end, and if a person has a difficult period in his/ her life then it will pass earlier or later, it cannot last forever. Even bad experiences should be accepted, first of all, as an experience, but not like a negative situation; the only place where happiness really exists is in human mind. Happiness is already inside people and it depends on whether they want be happy or they want to search for it. In other words, everything depends on people’s attitude to life; if one smiles to life, the life will smile back to him/ her. Happiness is the reflection of people’s actions, thoughts and decisions, if they are negative, no wonder that a person is unhappy.
Another issue concerns such virtue as to help other people. Indeed, one may argue that there is nothing wrong with a desire to help those in need. Many people agree that helping others is a good decision and it characterizes a person from his/ her best side. However, sometimes the desire to help may overgrow into compulsive craving to help people because you are the only who can do it and without you he/ she will not survive. In fact, it is not true; no doubt, a person may provide a help to another one; even more, this help may make a difference in his/ her life, but one should remember that people are the only creators of their lives.
No one can make a decision instead of others and there are at least two reasons:
- The first one concerns a human nature; one should accept the fact that no person is able to change the other one, until this person decides to make some changes in his/ her life. If a person really wants to help his/ her friend, the best thing he/ she may do is to give a good advice or provide assistance, if necessary. Every person must live his/ her life in a way he/ she thinks it is best for him/ her.
- The second issue directly concerns the person who has a strong desire to help others. His/ her desire may overgrow into an obsession to become a savior for an unfortunate person. In this case, the person who wants to help may face bad consequences of his/ her desire. This person begins to live a life of those he/ she wants to help; he/ she emphasizes him/ her so strong that absolutely forget about his/her own life. Unfortunately, it happens very often and such behavior negatively effects both sides of this agreement.
According to this fact, one should remember that providing help to others is a good desire, but he/ she should not sacrifice own life to help others. This help must be in a range of person’s opportunities and should not go beyond his/ her norms of life.
Assertiveness is what the majority people want and what they are afraid to do
To be assertive means to talk about a particular position straight and to be ready to receive approval or contrary disapproval. Many people are afraid to define their position, concerning some issues, and they prefer to keep calm and say nothing. However, is it correct, should a person be silent if he/ she really has something to say? Some believe that they will not be accepted by the audience and thus, there is no sense to talk at all. Others cannot stand criticism and this is the reason why they keep silence. Anyway, people should understand that they will never be accepted as an individual for the thoughts and ideas that were not announced. If a person wants to say something and he/ she believes that his/ her opinion is really important, then there are no reasons why it should not be done. In other words, nobody will remember you for your thoughts, if you want to do something, just do it, if you want say something, say it; there are always people who will judge whatever you do.
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For me to be a whole person means to be free from any types of stereotypes and preconceived ideas. A person who believes that he/ she lives a happy life should be open to different points of view. He/ she must see the whole picture of the situation and analyze it from different aspects, but not only from those that are comfortable to him/ her. I believe that this information helped me to overview some my positions in life. First of all I want to mention the issue, concerning happiness. Indeed, I have met many people who believed in one idea and did not notice the world around them. These people cannot be called a whole person because they refuse to see the issue of happiness from different points of view.
Another interesting issue that captured my mind is providing help to others. I have always thought that help is something absolutely positive and there could not be negative consequences, if it does not harm somebody else. However, I realized that the situation, when a person who wants to help another one scarifies his/ her own life is really wrong. Thus, according to this new perception of principles, I decided to overview my personal beliefs, ideas and make some corrections because the received information gave a new light for these issues.
First of all, I want to say that there should be a balance in my feelings and emotions, a person who cannot control his/ her own emotions can be manipulated by others. Thus, to control my emotions means to be independent from somebody’s influence. I should not make quick conclusions, concerning some issues, until I analyze it from different points of view. Everybody knows that it is better to find a solution of a problem like it does not relate to you personally. Emotions do not give a chance to find a rational solution for a problem; they distract a person and make him/ her blind.
The issue of altruism is always praised as a positive one, but enough is as good as a feast. People who try to help everyone, very often forget that they have their life with problems too. To help others is a good thing, but sympathy, as well as other emotions should be controlled because it may bring harm to my personal life and help to make a right decision.
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These articles have demonstrated me that people are socialized individuals who respond to the demands of the society. Society uses different instruments to manipulate people, for example, it creates fake ideals and beliefs. Individuals accept this information as the true one and they follow to the direction that was pointed by the society. Moreover, these articles gave examples that indicate, why one should care less about what he/ she does and says and pay more attention to personal ideas and beliefs. An interesting fact, people listen to those who truly believe in what he/ she says, thus if one wants to say something, he/she must be absolutely ensured in what he/ she says.
I believe that I am a whole person, maybe not fully, but I try to be one. For me to be a whole person means to have a strong life position. Every person should have some principles and norms that form him/ her as an individual. The mix of these principles creates what one may call a behavior and a person is ruled by this behavior. In other words, it can be said that a person is what he/ she thinks and believes. Our thoughts make us the people we are and if we lose at least few of them, it cannot be left without attention by those people who know us pretty good. Thus, the first thesis of being a whole person is to have principles that cannot be easily changed by the influence of somebody else pressure.
A person who has certain beliefs and his/ her personal understanding of the world still cannot be called a whole person. If one is afraid of telling what he/ she thinks, it does not matter how many good ideas he/ she may have. Thus, it is important to behave yourself in a manner you believe is right. The biggest mistake that the majority of people make is think “What other people will say?” No doubts, a whole person listens to other people’s opinion, but he/ she will never be ruled by them. In addition, he/ she is ready to provide his/ her thoughts even if nobody agrees. Actually, it does not mean that this person does not respect the opinion of others, contrary a whole person as a rule is very tolerant towards others and he/ she tries to provide his/ her thoughts in a polite manner.
The third idea that I would like to identify being happy. One may argue that this has no sense because everybody wants to be happy and it is a natural fact that people try to be happy. However, I put a little different meaning in this issue; many people search for happiness instead of being happy. Happiness is the way of perception of the world. A person should realize that he/ she can be happy right now and all the necessary things he/ she already has. A person may analyze the situation from different perception. Those people who are able to see something positive in everything that happens in their life, will hardly say that they are unhappy, while those people, who view world as something negative and evil, will always be unsatisfied. Life is like a mirror, the image you see there is the reflection of you. Thus, I believe that a positive attitude gives the same positive attitude back.
To sum up, I can say that if one wants to understand people, he/ she should start with himself/ herself. If one can understand the nature of his/ her own decisions, then he is ready to analyze the behavior of other people. Additionally, I can say that self-analysis may open a door to the world of human being. However, I believe that human nature is a mystery and it is not always easy to understand ones actions.